We finally found out that the wee one we have been preparing for since August is not going to come. We don't even know if it was a boy or a girl.
(I have a feeling it was a boy... I don't know why... I just think it was a 'he'.)
The baby didn't survive.
That's all we were told.
No further explanation.
No details.
No rhyme or reason... just 'didn't survive'.
I have actually known for a few days... I just needed time.
This loss of course stirred up a whole batch of aches and pains that we thought were done with over baby Onica. (a wee one we 'lost' at nine months old)
I was in shock when we thought a wee one would be coming to alter our sleep schedules and laundry cycles. I almost thought... I don't know if I want THAT. But then we started receiving donations from friends and family members... furniture, clothes, bottles... everything started falling into place. Excitement started flowing through our home and we were giddy with anticipation of a new lil man or lil lady coming to fill our home with their sweet lil spirit.
We are offering to return all the donations.
We thank all the many families that came forward and tried to help us ready our home for the new baby. We appreciate you all so very much. We appreciate all the other families that were ready to help once they knew whether our bundle would be wearing blue or pink... thank you.
It's amazing that we could fall in love with a baby we never saw or felt or heard.
We loved that baby. We prayed for the baby and bio-mother, daily.
I pray that bio-mom is doing well and healing from her loss as well.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry. We experienced this before we were matched with our daughter's birth mom. It's a horrible helpless feeling and knowing that someone you love is going through so much pain on top of already going through so much is an awful feeling. Let them know you love them, let them know you're still there for them and take time to grieve. You've suffered a loss. I'm so sorry.
Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your families loss. I will keep your family in our prayers. We love you
So sorry for your loss. I myself lost a baby a little over a month ago. I hadn't known that I was pregnant or even how far along I was.
You have a beautiful family and there are still lots of babies to have!!!!
:)
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