Our last family picture before baby Onica was taken to Oklahoma...(this is just a few hours before she left~hence the black circles below mine and Lance's eyes)
My little 'sweetness' ~ I love her so much.
For the last couple weeks with this "anniversary" looming into view I have been having panic attacks again wondering if she is happy, healthy and doing well. I wake up bawling and poor Lance doesn't know what to do to help calm me down.
(I'll 'worry' about her forever)
My favorite picture of Onica with Lance...
Fan-C was the little momma.
She loved to help take care of baby Onica.
~
~
~
So this sweet bundle was taken two years ago. She is 2 1/2 years old now... but she will always be that sweet little nine month old they took from my arms.
My brain and heart are stuck ~ it is as if I lost a baby but there is no grave to visit...
I love you Onica Lynne ~ always!
My little 'sweetness' ~ I love her so much. For the last couple weeks with this "anniversary" looming into view I have been having panic attacks again wondering if she is happy, healthy and doing well. I wake up bawling and poor Lance doesn't know what to do to help calm me down.
(I'll 'worry' about her forever)
My favorite picture of Onica with Lance...
Fan-C was the little momma. She loved to help take care of baby Onica.
~
~
~
So this sweet bundle was taken two years ago. She is 2 1/2 years old now... but she will always be that sweet little nine month old they took from my arms.
My brain and heart are stuck ~ it is as if I lost a baby but there is no grave to visit...
I love you Onica Lynne ~ always!
8 comments:
Oh Stephanie, I am sooooooo sorry for your lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you, especially today. What a beautiful baby she is. I can't imagine your grief, but appreciate your beautiful post. Love you!!!!
Oh, that just breaks my heart. That would be so hard, I understand your heartbreak over this beautiful little girl. I have considered doing foster care before, and this is exactly the reason I cannot do it. I couldn't bear the ache of a child that had to be taken back and have to constantly wonder about someone I loved so much. I'm sorry about the panic attacks, those are not fun either. She's a beautiful little girl.
I had to hold back the tears as I read your post. When I was a preteen we had a 9 month old named Jennifer come stay with us. Her mom had attempted to off herself. Somehow she ended up with us. It wasn't for long, but we were so sad when she left and I have always wondered how she is. I know that how I feel can't even begin to compare to the loss you have, but I know that losing any of my children would be so very heartbreaking. Hang in there! And take heart in the other 3 that you still get to hold and love!
She is so blessed to have someone in the world that loves her so much.
I love ya Stephanie. I am hugging you tight.
I wish there were something I could say to ease your pain, but I know there isn't. So just know that I'm thinking about you.
I hopped over from the r house and you have a beautiful family!!
best wishes!!
Oh I commented on your other blog as well!! :)
i am so so sorry. i can't even imagine what that must be like...
what a beautiful little girl she is. are you able to keep in touch at all with her & the family she's with now? did she leave to live with her biological family or another foster family?
my heart is broken for you.
i echo desiree... i just couldn't do it.
i had no idea this occurred in your life. big hugs to you!!! you are amazing.
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